I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar for a few years now, with a little bit of my own effort and a little bit of education. I practice almost every day and try to learn something. Sometimes I pick up the guitar, a melody comes to my mind and I just play it without thinking about it. Sometimes I try a song, it doesn't work, after all I'm not a guitar virtuoso. The melody of a song was screaming inside me, I picked up the guitar, it didn't work, I couldn't play it. I said to myself, you're too cocky, who are you to play that song?
Time passed (I say time, 15 minutes). I picked up the guitar again, and I was able to play the same song in a couple of tries, although not perfectly.
I didn't just play, I had an epiphany. I didn't know exactly at what level I could play the guitar and this ignorance was actually sabotaging me by preventing possible learning.
That's when I said that it's time, we're going to examine this. While I was studying this, going deeper into it, I came to "know thyself", which is present in almost all philosophical approaches.
Thousands of years ago, Socrates gave a great warning in two words: "Know yourself".
I've always been fascinated by the magic of words, what is described in two words can actually cover a lot of topics.
Whenever I really pause and face these two words, I see that there is a labyrinth underneath. Which part of myself do I need to know? My abilities? My limitations? My fears? How I appear to others? Or how I look to myself?
These are all different questions. And they often refute each other.
As always, let us examine this issue from philosophical and scientific perspectives and try to reach a conclusion...
The Philosophical and Scientific Background
Philosophical Perspective
If the Observer and the Observed Are the Same Person
Heraclitus talks about a river. You can't enter the same river twice, because the river has changed and you have changed. (8*)
The same thing happens when trying to know oneself. The mind that studies itself is the very thing it studies. The observer and the observed are inseparable. So it is easy to say "know thyself", but practicing it is a paradox in itself.
Nevertheless, one should not give up. Because any self-evaluation without being aware of this paradox is actually self-delusion.
But What?
Socrates did not say this as a destination. Rather, he said it as the starting point of a journey that begins with admitting his ignorance. He makes this clear in his own Defense: he talks to people who are considered wise, he sees that they don't know what they think they know. He realizes that he doesn't know either. But at least he knows he doesn't know. (1*)
It is a small distinction, but it changes everything.
Knowing yourself is not to have a list. It is not having a list of "I am good at this, I am bad at that". This is the name of an attitude that constantly questions, constantly reviews, constantly takes into account that it can be wrong.
Jung: The Side We Don't Want to See
According to Jung, every person has a shadow. The shadow contains everything we push into the unconscious. The feelings we don't accept, the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of, the impulses we deny. (2*)
And the interesting thing is that the more we deny the shadow, the stronger it becomes. The things we are most uncomfortable seeing in others are often reflections of our own shadow. When we overreact to someone, we need to look for the source of that reaction in ourselves.
To know yourself is to face this shadow. Not to defeat, but to recognize.
Heidegger: "das Man" and Individual Freedom
Heidegger's concept of "das Man" does not translate well into Turkish, but it can be approximately explained as follows: "everyone" or "the crowd." Heidegger points this out because often what we think "I want" is actually "everyone wants." (3*)
When we say, "I have to be successful in this job," where does that thought come from? Is it really from us? Or is it because of the definitions, expectations, patterns around us?
Self-knowledge also requires distinguishing between "me" and "das Man". Which one is really your voice?
Sartre: The Name of Self-Deception
Sartre enters this issue from a different angle. With the concept of bad faith or, in French, mauvaise foi. (4*) Bad faith is the denial of freedom. "I cannot do otherwise." Sentences like "this is how I am," "this is my nature" are, according to Sartre, an escape.
Man chooses something every moment. And to escape this choice, he tells himself stories. He says he did not choose, he was forced, he cannot change.
To know yourself is to see these stories too. Not to get lost in the story and blame it on external factors.
Scientific Perspective
Johari Window: What Do You Know, What Don't You Know?
Luft and Ingham developed a simple but useful model in 1955: The Johari Window. (5*) There are four areas:
- The field you and others know.
- The field that only you know.
- It's just the space that others see but you don't.
- And the area that neither of them knows.
The real problem is in the third area. What others see in you that you don't recognize. This is the blind spot. To see it, you need feedback from the outside. Sometimes a sentence, sometimes a reaction, sometimes just a look.
To know oneself is to recognize the fields of this window.
Bandura: Self-Efficacy Doesn't Always Reflect Reality
Bandura's concept of self-efficacy states that your belief that you can do something affects how well you actually do it. (6*) But there is a critical issue here: this belief does not always reflect reality.
Some people have a self-efficacy far below their actual ability. That's why they don't try, they run away, they keep putting it off. Some people, on the contrary, have a self-efficacy far above their actual ability. This generates different errors.
Going back to the guitar example, that "you can't" sound was a miscalibration. But it can always work the other way around. It's obviously time to examine how much my beliefs about myself reflect reality...
Beck: Sliding to the Edge
In his study of cognitive distortions, Aaron Beck has found recurring errors in the way people view themselves and the world. (7*) One of the most common is dichotomization: all or nothing, either perfect or terrible, either very good or very bad.
This happens not only in evaluating the world, but also in evaluating yourself. "I failed once, so I can never succeed in this field." Or vice versa: "I feel good now, so everything is fine."
Going to extremes makes self-knowledge impossible. Because it causes us to constantly look at data about ourselves through a distorted lens.
Footnote: Thinking Your Thought
There is a faculty that stands above all this: metacognition. The capacity to observe your own thinking. (8*)
Not to ask "what am I thinking right now?" but to ask "where does this thought come from, what assumption is it based on, is it really my thought?"
Without the development of this ability, everything else is incomplete. Because we cannot change without realizing it.
The Real Problem:
Judging the World Without Knowing Yourself
Underlying all these difficulties is the main issue: judging the world, evaluating others, making decisions without knowing yourself.
If our self-efficacy is miscalibrated, we miscalibrate what we expect from others. If we don't see our own shadow, we always see it in others. If we confuse the sound of "das Man" with our own voice, we don't know what we really want.
Know thyself is therefore more than two words. It is a starting point.
For me, this was a very challenging process. For years I did not question how much some of the stories I carried about myself reflected the truth. I realized some of my blind spots, but only through other people's reactions. It was only when I was alone that I realized that some of my thoughts were actually the thoughts of the crowd.
This process is not over. It probably won't end. But it was something to start with.
Again, I would like to share with you these practices that I prepared for myself:
1. Look for your blind spot. I pay attention to my overreaction to someone or a situation. Strong emotional reactions can often point to something within myself that I have not yet resolved. I try to see that reaction as a data.
I stop when I say which me? The present me? The one from a past experience? The one others have told me? Asking this question can sometimes be more valuable than the answer.
3. Recognize when you are slipping to the extremes. I stop when I judge myself either too good or too bad. The truth is usually in the middle. And the middle is more honest, even if it looks blurry.
Self-knowledge is not a destination. It is the name of an attitude that must be continuous.
We don't have to look for truth. Honesty is enough. To be true to oneself; neither exaggerating nor underestimating, neither denying the shadow nor being enslaved by it.
This is exactly what Socrates was saying. Knowing what you do not know is knowledge itself.
Hope to meet you next week with a new article.
Until then, stay in love.
Source
- (1*) Plato, Defense of Socrates
- (2*) Carl Gustav Jung, The Four Archetypes
- (3*) Martin Heidegger, Being and Time
- (4*) Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness
- (5*) Luft, J. and Ingham, H. (1955). The Johari Window
- (6*) Albert Bandura, Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control
- (7*) Aaron T. Beck, Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders
- (8*) Heraclitus, Fragments
