The Trap of Time: Why Is It So Hard to Stay in the 'Now'?

Let's try to imagine a specific memory in our lives that we hope will be a good one.

For example, we are meeting with our friends, having a nice chat, playing games, having fun.

At the beginning everything is great: Our favorite friends are with us, nice music in the background, the weather is great, the atmosphere is pleasant; drinks, food, board games, paper and pencil... Everything is in its place.

Suppose that at some point, when we pay attention to our friends and especially to ourselves, we notice the following:

One of our friends can't focus on the conversation, it's as if his mind is not there.

Another is worried about the reality of not passing the exam at the end of the year, his mind is stuck there.

Another person compares a topic of conversation with a trauma he or she experienced 15 years ago and gets angry inside, his or her mood drops, he or she gets into an argument and tries to win, attacking the other person without caring about the deterioration of the atmosphere.

How annoying would that be?

I guess we all have moments when a part of our mind wanders either in the past or in the future and misses the real moment.

In this article we will examine our perception of time, why it is so difficult to stay in the moment and how important it actually is, and possible solutions from a philosophical, scientific and social perspective.

Philosophical and Scientific Background

Philosophical perspective:

The importance of the "moment" in stoicism and Zen philosophy

We have already talked at length about the importance in stoicism of separating what we can and cannot control and focusing on what we can control.

According to the Stoics, the only thing one can control is one's own attitude, and this attitude is shaped only in the present moment.

Planning for the future or lingering in the past are areas that are beyond our power.

"The future is uncertain. The past cannot be changed. We have only the present moment." - Epictetus

Zen philosophy is based entirely on experience and awareness.

In Zen, the "now" is not only important; it is already the only reality.

According to Zen teaching, thoughts constantly produce either a repetition of the past or a projection of the future. But what is real is only this moment. Zen practice therefore invites one to be rooted in the "now."

A Zen master says:

"Walk as you walk. When you eat, eat. Do not think. Just do."

This saying emphasizes the primacy of bodily awareness, not the mind. To return to the "now" is not to silence the mind, but to observe its impermanence.

In Zen, satori (sudden realization) is only possible in the "now". Practices such as meditation, zazen, etc. are an effort to constantly bring attention to the moment. It is important to "be" in the present, not to analyze the past or control the future.

🔁Common Point: Making peace with "now"

  • Stoicism approaches the present on the basis of ethics and reason: Live in the present with virtue.
  • Zen approaches the present on the basis of experience and consciousness: Live the moment unquestioningly.

Both see the "moment" not as a point of escape but as a ground of origin. Because "now" is the only place where one can reach both inner freedom and reality.

Heidegger and the "temporality of existence"

Heidegger's search for the meaning and reasoning of existence led him to the philosophy of Dasein, or "being there".

According to Heidegger, the existence of Dasein is a temporal structure. This means:

✅Dasein is rooted in its past → "What was I, who was I?"

✅To the future → "What will I be, what kind of life will I have?"

✅It lives in the present → But this "moment" is influenced by the past and the future.

In other words, man does not just live "in the present", he is constantly reinterpreting his past and projecting into the future. This triple structure is what Heidegger calls "temporality".

Heidegger argues that most people live without being aware of this temporal structure. That is:

  • He does not think about his own death,
  • He does not take responsibility for his own choices,
  • He is preoccupied with the patterns imposed by society.

He calls this way of living "das Man" (the state of everyoneness). In other words: "To live as everyone else does."

But authentic life begins with the realization that man is dead. For death is Dasein's "absolute limit in the future." Realizing this, one now takes one's own existence seriously.

According to Heidegger: "Being is time."

For man constructs himself within a structure of past, present and future.

For Heidegger, "now" is not a fixed moment.

It is a process that flows with the meaning of the past and the anticipation of the future.

This is different from the Zen attitude of "being rooted in the present".

Whereas Zen experiences the present as "thoughtless experience", for Heidegger the present is the scene of meaning production.

We are constantly "interpreting" our past and "designing" our future - it is this interpretation and designing that "makes us exist".


Time and the present moment in Eastern-Western thought

🧘 Eastern Thought: Cyclical Time and "Being in the Moment"

In Eastern philosophies (Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism and especially Zen), time is thought of in a cyclical structure.

  • It is a wheel of birth, life, death and rebirth.
  • The past and the future are natural flows of this cycle, but the only real is the present moment.

Zen philosophy tells us:

"If you are not in the present, you are nowhere."

The East does not live the present moment through mental analysis but through direct experience. Meditation, breathing, tea ceremonies, swordsmanship... all are practices of being in the moment.

🏛️ Western Thought: Linear Time and Historicity

Western thought (from Ancient Greece to Christianity to the Enlightenment) sees time as linear:

  • There is a beginning (creation, birth),
  • A process (history, progress),
  • And an end (death, judgment, finality).

This linear view links the meaning of time in the West with goal, achievement and progress.

  • Past: accumulation and learning,
  • Future: goal and liberation,
  • Present: often seen as a moment of transition.

Although some philosophers, such as Heidegger, question this flow, the Western mind often instrumentalizes the now.

In short, for a Western individual, staying in the moment feels contrary to his or her nature, whereas in Eastern systems it is almost a lifestyle.

Scientific approach:

🧠How Does the Brain Perceive Time?

The human brain does not measure time like a clock; instead, it feel time according to factors such as experience, attention, memory and emotional intensity. Our perception of time is therefore highly subjective and open to manipulation.


1. ⏱️Psychological Time: Our Mental Clock

Our mental clock is formed by the interaction of various structures of the brain:

  • Basal ganglia and cerebellum are involved in the perception of short-term timing (milliseconds, seconds).
  • Prefrontal cortex is involved in planning and time organization.
  • The hippocampus works to sequence events and relate them to time.

But all these processes are relative:

  • When we are having fun, time "flies away."
  • When bored, time "freezes."

This is because the brain perceives lived time, not "objective" time.


2. 🎯Attention: The Gate to the Present Moment

The brain's focus on the present moment is made possible by attention systems.

  • Dorsal attention network allows us to focus on the outside world.
  • Default Mode Network is active during mind wanderings (daydreams, past-future thoughts).

Our mind works in this second mode most of the time. That is, it constantly distracts us from the present moment.

Therefore, the practice of mindfulness aims to consciously bring attention to the present moment.


3. 🧩 Memory: A Map of Time

The past exists in our memory not just as events, but in temporal contexts.

  • Episodic memory remembers when events happened.
  • But if these contexts are blurred, the perception of time is distorted: "Did it happen yesterday, was it last month?"

This is what causes the feeling of time compression or expansion during traumas, monotony or very busy periods.


4. ⚡ Factors Affecting Time Perception

Distraction: 

The moment is not recognized, time "flies by".

Intense attention: 

Time is prolonged because details are processed.

High emotion: 

Remembrances are lasting, time is framed.

Routineness: 

Time is blurred and passes quickly.

New experience: 

Time seems to stretch (novelty effect).


5. 🌀The Illusion of "Feeling" Time

We cannot exactly "measure" time - we construct it.

Therefore:

  • The future is always uncertain (the mind fills it with scenarios),
  • The past is fragmentary (memory is selective),
  • The present exists only in the light of attention.

The more often the mind shifts this light, the fainter the "moment" becomes.


🧠+🧘 Connection:

The nature of the brain pushes us towards the past and the future.

This is why the present moment is a field of resistance, not only mentally, but cognitively.

Staying in the moment is not a technique, but a neurological resistance.


Influences related to brain chemistry:

  • Dopamine, stress, anxiety and time perception
  • Biological and evolutionary reasons that make it difficult to stay in the moment

Social/cultural influences:

  • The challenges of staying in the moment in the digital age
  • Social media, agenda, information flow and disconnection from the 'now'

The Real Problem and Solutions

The real problem:

Our brains evolutionarily perceive uncertainty as a danger.

  • Ruminating over and over again about a painful event in the past is a safety precaution that the brain takes in order to "learn a lesson."
  • Concerns about the future are the product of the need to recognize threats in advance and be prepared.

But when these mechanisms exceed the limit, the mind no longer produces solutions. It just gets stuck in the same cycle. This creates anxiety, instability, insomnia and emotional exhaustion.

Focusing on past events often produces feelings of regret, wishfulness, self-blame.

Focusing on the future creates anxiety, fear, feelings of inadequacy due to uncontrollable possibilities.

Both disconnect the mind from the present moment and weaken our connection to the body. This is the disconnection with inner peace.

In order to be peaceful in the present moment, the mind needs to stay in the now.

But if we stay in the past:

We can have feelings like: Don't look at how beautiful this moment is, it's all going to fall apart anyway, you're trying in vain, etc.

If we stay in the future:

We can poison the beauty of the moment with nonsensical thoughts.

Therefore, the mind can neither be at peace with the present nor with itself.

Peace of mind lies not in the absence of things, but in the ability to accept things as they are.

  • The past cannot be changed.
  • The future cannot be guaranteed.

But the present can be accepted.

When the mind forgets this fact and goes into constant analysis mode, peace is replaced by an unresolved inner monologue.

It is very important that our mind, body and emotions are on the same page to be in harmony with ourselves.

But overthinking about the past and the future mentally scatters these pieces into different times.

This fragmentation is the biggest obstacle to inner peace.

To dwell on the past is to try to fix a past that no longer exists.

To worry about the future is like preparing for a battle that has not yet come.

But life only happens now. Inner peace can only be found in the present.


Why is the concept of "staying in the moment" idealized but often unattainable?

Whatever self-help book you pick up, whatever podcast you listen to, whatever application you download, you will always find the same advice as the golden solution for modern times:

Stay in the moment, get rid of it!

But in practice, this advice often either doesn't work or cannot be sustained.

Why? Because the concept is both idealized and marketed without taking into account the complexity of human nature

I think the reasons why it is idealized are:

  1. The fact that it offers the promise of peace gives it the guise of spiritual salvation.
  2. The fact that it appears to be a direct and easy to implement action makes it mouth-watering.

Why it is unattainable:

  1. Everything that remains in our minds contains things that have either happened or will happen. In this context, staying in the moment feels like contradicting yourself.
  2. The present moment confronts us with our current reality, and this can sometimes be painful, which can lead to avoidance.
  3. It is also difficult to stay in the moment. Even saying "I need to be peaceful now" is actually preparing for a future moment... That's why it shouldn't be made a goal and should be done naturally. 

Don't force it, beautiful, don't force it, it should happen naturally.

Applicable suggestions:

🧘‍♂️ What Can We Do to Stay in the Moment?

So far we have seen that "staying in the moment" is not a direct goal; it is a skill that can be learned and repeated. We can take some small but effective steps to develop this skill.

I have tried to compile the following suggestions:

1. Mindfulness and Meditation Practices

One of the most direct ways to stay present is to train the mind.

  • Meditation teaches you to notice the mind's automatic leaps into the past and the future and bring it back to the present.
  • Just 5 minutes of sitting in silence every day is enough to start, even to become aware of mental speed.
  • Practice: Focus on the breath, observe, redirect thoughts.
"To stay in the moment is not to fall into silence; it is to release thoughts."

2. Sensory Focus and the Habit of "Slowing Down"

When the mind runs away, the body is in the now. Therefore:

  • Returning to the senses (e.g. feeling a hot cup, listening to a sound) anchors the moment.
  • Simple actions such as walking slowly, eating slowly, looking at an object for a few seconds longer, strengthen the bodily awareness of being in the moment.
"Where the mind cannot be quiet, be rooted in the body."

This habit is to consciously slow down the pace of life and hear yourself again at that pace.


3. Giving Yourself Time and Reminding Rituals

In modern life we often forget: returning to the "now" is not a luxury, but a necessity.

  • Close your eyes for 1 minute before your morning coffee,
  • Take three deep breaths before each meal,
  • Write a short end-of-day note in the evening...

Such rituals are like giving the mind a command to "realize the value of this moment".

Over time, they become automatic, mental fallback paths.

"Rituals remind us of the quickly forgotten call to stay in the moment."

🔁Remember: Staying in the moment is not a skill learned once; it is an orientation that is re-membered every day.


For a long period of time in my life, I considered myself a quick-tempered person and recognized myself as such.

I would burst out, burn, destroy, yell and scream at the drop of a hat. All the others were very bad, because they made me angry.

In time, I realized this (with the warning of my wife). At first, I decided to meditate by staying in the moment, capturing those moments when I got angry, and instead of reacting when I would react, I decided to meditate by leaving the environment, by walking away. So I could stay in the moment and calm down instead of shouting and screaming.

This process had the following benefit, as I stayed in the moment, as I observed myself and the events, I started to realize that, in fact, other people were not making me angry. I was pairing the anger of my past traumas, incompleteness, unfinishedness with momentary events and actually getting angry at them.

A lot of my traumas and bad feelings have been resolved with the practice of staying in the moment.

I realized that the more I can stay in the moment, the more I can be myself. The more I move away from the moment, the more robotic I become.


Conclusion and Message to the Reader

Every moment we fail to stay in the moment, we take an axe to our inner peace. We can't realize a wonderful meal we have eaten, we can't enjoy a beautiful moment, we increase the likelihood of burdening ourselves with bad things that have happened in the past or that may happen in the future.

When we are on our own, we burden only ourselves and miss our own inner peace, but when we come together with other people, with the energy we radiate, with our mood, our attitude, our posture, the badness that we can't resolve within ourselves becomes toxic, and we spread our own badness to our surroundings, even if we don't want to.

Wouldn't life be wonderful if we were masters of staying in the moment, if we could listen to someone fully when we talk to them, if we could give our full focus to the movie while watching a movie, if we could fully savor something while eating it? But there is something we can learn from all the pain, grief, sadness, bad feelings. Even these bad feelings can at least teach us how not to experience them next time, and this is very valuable.

The perception of time and staying in the 'now' can be the most fundamental key to both inner peace and the enjoyment of life.


When do you find it most difficult to stay in the moment, or even prefer not to stay in the moment?

Perhaps those are the moments when you miss out on life and unwittingly add to the burden.


In the next article, we will talk about facing challenging emotions and how to transform pain without losing inner peace.

Till then, stay in love.

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