Whenever a small child comes up to me and asks questions like "Why is this like this?" "What about that?" "What about that?" I am always fascinated and try to answer them patiently. When I observe most people, usually parents, I see that sometimes they answer patiently, sometimes they say "go play" and brush it off.
After all, we were once that child. Everything was new to us and we were curious about everything.
Then school started. As we learned the right answers, asking questions gradually became unnecessary. As we grew up, curiosity turned into a tool. When we need something, we search for it, and when we no longer need it, we stop.
As I observe the world around me and myself, I realize that we almost forget to be curious. When we are researching something, we always think "when will I need this?". It seems like a waste of time to follow a question that has no result.
But the real loss is the loss of curiosity.
In this article, we will try to examine philosophically and scientifically why curiosity is a stance, not a tool, and what it can add to our lives.
Philosophical and Scientific Background
Philosophical perspective:
Aristotle begins his Metaphysics with this sentence:
All human beings by nature want to know.
But the point to note in this sentence is that Aristotle is not talking about knowing, but about wanting to know. Curiosity, that driving force that comes before reaching a conclusion. Not the answer, the orientation. (1*)
Socrates goes even further:
The only thing I know is that I know nothing
In doing so, he offers an invitation, not a surrender. Socrates makes curiosity a way of life. He asks questions not to find answers, but to keep his curiosity alive. When he talks to people on the streets of Athens, his aim is not to find the truth. Seeking the truth. (2*)
Rilke approaches this from a very different perspective:
Live with your questions. Maybe one day, without even realizing it, you will be living in the answers.
I think this is the best definition of curiosity. Not forcing the answer, accepting to walk with the question. To wonder not to close the uncertainty, but to stay in it.
Scientific perspective:
Psychologist George Loewenstein's "knowledge gap theory" explains curiosity as follows: the gap between what we know and what we want to know leads to curiosity. When this gap gets too big, it turns into anxiety; when it gets too small, it turns into apathy. This is why we pay attention when the beginning of a video says "You won't believe what is about to happen next" or when a TV series ends right at the climax. Our mind wants to complete incomplete knowledge. The strongest sense of wonder comes from things we can understand but don't yet know. (3*)
We also see something interesting from the neuroscience side. The brain releases dopamine when it encounters something new and unexpected. Curiosity is biologically rewarded. But this reward is not for the answer, but for the question. The search process itself is satisfying.
Todd Kashdan's research over many years shows that curious people report higher life satisfaction, build stronger relationships and cope more resiliently with challenges. But the curiosity here is not "I have to learn everything". An open, non-judgmental attitude, willing to explore. (4*)
The difference between the two is critical. One feeds on anxiety, the other on a sense of security.
Things That Kill Curiosity
In the education system, memorizing answers is rewarded and asking questions is often considered a waste of time. The "teacher asks, student answers" model shapes performance, not curiosity.
This continues into adulthood. We no longer research "to learn" but "to make it work". Curiosity seems superfluous when it does not serve productivity. Following something just because we find it interesting is considered a luxury.
There is also this: curiosity sometimes mixes with anxiety. "Why did this happen?" can come not from genuine curiosity, but from the need to regain control. Obsessing, thinking in cycles, constantly analyzing. These are not curiosity, but anxiety masquerading as curiosity.
It is difficult to distinguish between the two, but possible. True curiosity feels light. The anxiety is severe.
A Personal Moment
For a while, I was deciding what to learn based on whether it was "practical" or not. It seemed like a waste of time to wonder about something that was not useful.
Then one day, completely by chance, I read something about the Stoic perception of time. I had no "purpose". It just seemed interesting. I kept reading, hours passed.
That day I realized that the things I learned best were the things I didn't decide to learn. Curiosity drove me, I didn't try to drive him. It is a completely different feeling to learn something without thinking "will it be useful for me".
I missed that lightness.
Again, I would like to share with you these practices that I prepared for myself:
"I don't know."
When I encounter a question, instead of immediately looking for an answer, I think "I don't know" for a moment. I remind myself that I don't have to close this gap. Not knowing is not a lack. Sometimes it can be a starting point.
consequence-free curiosity.
Once a week, I take time to wonder about something useless: an event in history, the origin of a word in a language, a philosopher's point of view, the origin of a plant. I think of it as a practice of curiosity without a purpose. I just try to follow it without asking the question "When do I need this?".
Taking the question "Why?" one step further.
When I understand something, instead of stopping, I ask one more time "why?" Most of the time the first answer is on the surface and the really interesting layer is underneath.
Listening with curiosity.
When I talk to someone, instead of "thinking about what to say in response", I really wonder: why does this person think this way? How did he/she get here? Listening is also a practice of curiosity for me.
When we turn curiosity into a tool, we begin to consume it without realizing it. When we reach the target, we are done with curiosity.
But when we see it as a stance, it becomes something different: a more open way of relating to the world, to people, to yourself.
I think again of that child at the beginning of the article. When he asked "Why is this so?" he had no purpose, the answer didn't have to be useful. He was just curious. Maybe being curious means going back to that child a little bit. To be able to ask questions without knowing the answer, without consequences.
Speaking of asking, I would like to leave you a question:
When was the last time you followed something just because you were curious, without expecting any results, just because it was interesting?
See you in the next article. Until then, stay in love.
Source and inspired texts
(1*) Aristotle, Metaphysics
(2*) Plato, Defense of Socrates
(3*) George Loewenstein, The Psychology of Curiosity
(4*) Todd Kashdan, Curious?
