Sometimes, when we are watching a competition, at a critical moment, we have a thought like "if we stand up, the side we support will be successful" or something similar, and we believe it wholeheartedly. There are also times when we think that if what we did was successful, it will be in one direction, but if it was unsuccessful, it will be in the other direction.
According to this situation, we think that whether we stand up or not in the next match is the determining factor of success and we stand up or don't stand up accordingly.
"What an innocent and cute approach, what's wrong with that?", but this is just one example.
Let's look at some others:
There are those who believe that it will not rain if they do not take an umbrella when they leave the house, and there are those who believe that something will happen to them if they leave the house with their left foot.
"Oh, such things always happen to me", "Just what I was thinking about happened at that moment", so on and so forth...
There are even some people who believe that they can predict their partner's behavior through this belief.
In direct proportion to the level of belief in such beliefs, such people have similar beliefs that they can plan everything in their workplaces, homes and friendships.
But what are the benefits and harms of this kind of thinking and believing?
Could it be that we are falling into the illusion of control?
When we look up what the illusion of control is, we find the following definition:
It is the illusion that a person is more or less in control of external circumstances and events than they actually are. This cognitive distortion may cause the individual to think that he/she is in control when he/she is not, or to feel a sense of lack of control and engage in irresponsible behavior when he/she is.
Haydaa!
The interesting thing is that this illusion of control is very similar to the behavior patterns in the examples I have described.
Or are they not real? Or have we fallen victim to the illusion of control? Or don't we have super abilities, hidden powers?
Wait a minute.
Now is not the time for big words, but rather for a deep dive into how the illusion of control imprisons our minds and limits our freedom.
As we do every week, let's try to dig deeper into this topic from philosophical, scientific, social and cultural perspectives and see what we come up with...
In the previous post we talked about expectations; now we are approaching the illusion of control that feeds them.
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Philosophical and Scientific Background
Philosophical Perspective
Epictetus (Stoicism): The Limits of Freedom and the Illusion of Control
Epictetus argues that it is not the chains that enslave man, but the false beliefs of his mind. The fact that he became one of the greatest representatives of Stoicism, despite being born a slave, is a concrete proof of this idea.(1*)
There is a critical distinction in Epictetus' teachings: the sphere left to us by nature and the sphere that operates outside of us. That is, our own decisions, intentions, attitudes are our own; the weather, someone else's words, behavior, or the surprises of fate are things that are out of our hands.
We think that what is out of our hands is "as if" it were in our hands, and then we face disappointment.
For example:
"I can control that I don't get sick",
"My child should always behave the way I want him to",
"I should always get what I deserve in my job"...
From Epictetus' point of view, these are the kinds of thoughts that lead to slavery, not freedom.
Because we think we have power over things that are actually out of our power, and while we think we have control over them, we shackle ourselves in such a way that we are disappointed when things don't turn out the way we expect.
Stoic wisdom tells us:
True freedom begins with recognizing the illusion of control.
Knowing what we have empowers us, and ceasing to force what we don't have or what may or may not happen frees us from chains.
When we look at it from this perspective, it seems that the teachings of stoicism help to keep us free from these and other illusions and shackles.
Spinoza: Freedom Comes from Understanding Necessity
According to the 17th century philosopher Spinoza, true human freedom does not arise from being able to "manage external circumstances" but from being able to comprehend the necessities of the universe. For him, the world is not a stage for random events, but a necessary order that operates through a chain of causality. (2*)
We often say "I am free, I can do whatever I want". However, according to Spinoza, this is an illusion. For there are thousands of factors that influence our behavior: the desires of our body, our desires, social conditions, even the laws of nature itself. All of these are determinative.
So where is freedom?
Freedom, according to Spinoza, lies in recognizing these necessities. In other words, as soon as I understand "why I behave the way I do, why I feel the way I feel", I cease to be a slave to that behavior. I cease to be a passenger driven by my own instincts and external circumstances and become a subject who consciously grasps them.
This is very closely related to the illusion of control. Because we often think that "I control the external world", whereas we experience disappointments by bumping into things we cannot control.
Spinoza tells us:
The real freedom lies not in restraining the external world, but in knowing its necessary nature and adapting ourselves to this knowledge.
For example, expecting a partner to always "understand us" is an illusion of control. Freedom, according to Spinoza, is the realization that "the other person is also the product of his or her own necessities". Thus, we can reconstruct our relationship by understanding his or her nature, instead of forcing him or her to behave in a way that suits us.
In short, according to Spinoza, freedom is not about breaking the chains, but about knowing where the chains are and using the space of movement within them wisely.
One of the biggest obstacles to this is the illusion of control. Because when we fall into this fallacy, we miss out on the things that are within our control and we surrender control to external causes that are not within our control, and this is not a situation that benefits us.
Erich Fromm: "Escape from Freedom"
In The Escape from Freedom, Erich Fromm, one of the most important thinkers of the 20th century, points to a fundamental human paradox:
Man wants to be free, but at the same time he fears the uncertainty and loneliness that freedom brings. (3*)
Freedom means not only "pulling the strings" but also being able to make our own decisions without being bound by external authority, conventions or patterns.
But this comes with the burden of uncertainty:
"What if I do the wrong thing? What if my choices leave me alone? What if I can't control it?"
This fear, according to Fromm, leads people to create false security zones. That is, one clings to authorities, dogmas or superstitions in order to escape the responsibility of freedom. This is where the illusion of control emerges:
Not leaving the house with the left foot, thoughts such as "it won't rain if I don't take an umbrella" or trying to determine the partner's reaction in advance by saying "he will surely do this"...
All these actually carry the following message in the unconscious:
"I can't handle uncertainty, so I feel safe with little symbols, false control mechanisms."
Fromromromm's point of view:
Freedom is not only breaking the chains; it is being able to bear that responsibility despite the weight of uncertainty. As man avoids facing the anxiety of freedom, he creates chains in his own mind.
The illusion of control is the most common form of these chains: It gives us a false sense of security, but in fact further restricts our freedom.
For centuries philosophers have debated the relationship between freedom, necessity and illusion. But this relationship is not just the subject of abstract thought. In fact, modern psychology shows us that the illusion of control is not only a philosophical but also an empirically observable phenomenon. Let's take a look at the scientific basis of this concept.
Scientific Perspective
Psychology: The concept of "illusion of control" (Ellen Langer, 1975)
The term "illusion of control" was first coined in the psychological literature by Ellen Langer in 1975. (4*)In Langer's experiments, people believed that their own behavior could change the outcome, even in purely chance situations (e.g. rolling dice, buying a lottery ticket, drawing a card).
For example, thinking that rolling the dice harder would bring a higher number or that rolling slower would bring a lower number. Or that the person who chooses the lottery ticket will be luckier than the person who is given the ticket at random.
What these experiments show is this: The human mind does not like uncertainty. In order to reduce this uncertainty, it creates the illusion that "it is in my hands" even if it has no effect on the outcome.
In daily life, we can often see people who think that honking the horn in traffic will make the light come on faster, people who use a "lucky pen" in an exam, people who believe that if they change the way they sit while watching football, they will score a goal.
These may seem fun, but when the same mechanism is activated in relationships and business life, it creates problems. When a person believes that he or she can "control" the other person or the natural course of life, expectations and disappointments are inevitable.
The illusion of control is defined in psychology as:
The belief that one has more or less control over external circumstances and events than one actually does.
That is, thinking that we have something that we don't, or not taking responsibility for what we do have and retreating by saying "it's not in my control anyway."
Psychology shows us how the illusion of control manifests itself in our behavior. But there is a deeper dimension: This illusion is not just a mental delusion, it is also reflected in the biological workings of our brains.
In other words, the sense of control is actually directly linked to the reward mechanisms of our nervous system.
This is where neuroscience comes in...
Neuroscience: Predictive Brain and the Search for Security
Neuroscience tells us that one of the most basic functions of the brain is to predict the future. (5*)The prefrontal cortex in particular is constantly calculating the future through a mechanism described by the so-called "predictive brain."
In other words, our brains don't just record signals from the outside world; they build models to predict what will happen next. This is an evolutionary survival advantage.
If we anticipate a predator when a bush rustles, we are ready to flee, which increases our chances of survival.
But this system also has a side effect...
The brain likes certainty; it has little tolerance for uncertainty. So we try to create safety zones for ourselves with predictions. This is where the illusion of control comes into play. Our brain produces the feeling of "I can predict this, I can control it" even over an event that we actually have no influence over.
For example, thinking that shaking the dice tighter will change the outcome, or thinking about our partner's mood as "I can definitely tell from his/her facial expression"... In fact, the brain produces a sense of security with the desire to predict the future.
In other words, while the predictive brain is constantly writing scenarios to protect us, it also opens the door to the illusion of control with these scenarios.
At some point, the search for security turns into a chain that restricts our freedom.
This path from philosophy to neuroscience shows us that the illusion of control is not just a thought error, but a biological and psychological mechanism that operates deep in the mind. But what happens when this mechanism is taken to the extreme? This is where we enter the field of clinical psychology.
Clinical Psychology: How the Need for Control Becomes Anxiety
In clinical psychology, it is known that one of the main triggers of anxiety disorders is the "fear of loss of control". (6*)
There is a common theme in individuals who experience anxiety: Intolerance of uncertainty. In other words, the possibility that events may be unpredictable pushes the person to seek even more control. In this situation, mental energy is constantly spent on "what if this happens, what if that happens" scenarios.
For example:
Checking the weather forecast for hours before a plane ride,
Continuously analyzing the behavior of a partner in a relationship,
Checking that the door is locked over and over again in daily life with the anxiety of "what if something bad happens"...
These behaviors provide relief in the short term, but in the long term they create patterns that increase anxiety. Because the brain reinforces the belief that "I must be in control" over and over again. But in reality, when uncontrollable situations occur (for example, turbulence during a flight), the person experiences much more intense anxiety.
Psychotherapies (especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) try to show the person at this point:
The way to reduce anxiety is not to increase control, but to tolerate uncertainty.
In short, the illusion of control is not only a thought error in anxiety, but also a trap that feeds the anxiety cycle. As the quest for control increases, anxiety increases, and as anxiety increases, the need for control multiplies.
We have seen how the illusion of control feeds anxiety on a personal level. But the issue is not only individual. Because this weakness of the individual turns into a powerful mechanism that modern societies also use. The individual, unable to tolerate uncertainty, clings to the same illusions at the mass level.
Social / Cultural Effects
Modern Toplum: The Obsession with Planning and the "Control Your Life" Motto
In today's world, the illusion of control is not limited to individual beliefs; it has become almost a fundamental motto of modern culture.
Ajandas, to-do lists, calendar apps, productivity techniques... All whisper to us:
"If you plan your life, everything will be under your control."
Of course, making plans creates order, setting goals creates motivation. But the dangerous thing is that these tools turn into security obsessions over time.
If a plan breaks down, a task is postponed or a gap in the calendar cannot be filled, the person does not just say "my schedule is disrupted"; he or she faces a deep sense of anxiety, guilt or failure.
The "be the boss of your own life" discourse that modern society constantly repeats actually ties the individual to another chain without realizing it: It makes them feel like they have to plan every moment. This produces oppression instead of freedom. (7*)
The result, beyond the order that planning provides, is the illusion that "the more I control, the safer I am."
But the reality is that the flow of life is full of unexpected surprises. Our plans, our lists, our calendars can only partially accommodate these surprises. The rest is an artificial expectation of order, forced upon us by the illusion of control.
Capitalist Culture: "Be the Boss of Your Own Life" Discourse
One of the most dominant mottoes of modern capitalist culture is:
"Be the boss of your own life."
At first glance it sounds liberating. One will make one's own choices, one will not be subservient to anyone, one will be the architect of one's own success.
But behind this rhetoric lies an invisible burden.
For the capitalist system not only offers the individual the promise of freedom, but also the responsibility to control everything.
You have to be successful at work, keep your body in shape, manage your relationships perfectly, manage your finances, stay productive and creative at all times.
This discourse, far from liberating the individual, turns him/her into a "small company" that must constantly perform. The individual is no longer just someone who lives his/her own life; he/she becomes a project that he/she must constantly "manage".
At this point the illusion of control takes over. Because we begin to perceive the natural uncertainties of life as "personal failures".
If plans are disrupted, if there are problems in the relationship, if there is a setback at work... All of these turn into internal accusations of "you didn't manage well enough, you couldn't control".
But this accusation is an illusion created by the culture, not the individual. The obligation to control every moment of life places an unnecessary burden on the shoulders of human beings.
What capitalist culture makes us forget is that freedom is not about controlling everything, but about making peace with what we cannot control.
Digital Age: The Invisible Control of Algorithms
One of the most powerful illusions of the digital age is that it gives us the feeling that we "control everything" from the screens in our hands.
How many followers do I have?
How many likes did my post get?
Who watched my video?
What time of day would I get more engagement?
All these metrics give us the feeling that we are "micromanaging" our lives. It seems as if the algorithms are in our hands. But it's actually the opposite...
In fact, algorithms rule us, not us.
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube or X (Twitter)...
They all work in an invisible mathematical order. When we post, how visible we will be, who we will reach, what content we will encounter depends entirely on the decision of these algorithms.
This is where the illusion of control arises:
"I posted at the right time, so I got engagement."
"I chose a good title, so I got views."
But most of the time, the algorithm's invisible filters determine who can and cannot see our content. So while we think we are in control, we are actually under the control of the system. (8*)
This situation both creates a false sense of power and feeds anxiety. Because when the number of followers drops or engagement decreases, we immediately blame ourselves: "I didn't manage it well enough."
But the problem is not in the incompetence of the individual, but in the invisible balance that algorithms deliberately play.
In short, the digital age offers us a sense of control, but it increases our dependency, not our freedom.
Real Problems and Solutions
Problems
It seems that the illusion of control is like a hidden trap.
In fact, we all know that the relationship between events is not the same as causality.
What I am trying to say is: We went out, it rained. We went out again, it rained again. In this case, it would not be right to think "if I go out, it will rain" because there is only simultaneity. Two events have occurred side by side, but one is not the cause of the other.
There is a well-known example of this in statistics: When ice cream sales increase, so does the rate of drowning at sea. At first glance, it may appear that there is a causal link between them. However, the real reason is that both drownings and ice cream sales occur when it is hot. So the apparent relationship misleads us, in fact there is no cause and effect.
But the illusion of control becomes even more convincing when combined with the anticipatory mechanisms our brains have built for security.
The mind actually creates these illusions to cover its own anxiety of uncertainty, and we often carelessly accept them as real. Thus they enter our lives and not only enter, but after a while they take over our thoughts.
The result? We feel constantly on guard, anxious and exhausted. Because the things we try to control are not really under our control.
Moreover, this illusion gives us a false sense of "godlike power":
"If I go out, it will rain."
"If I stand up, it will be a goal."
"If I pick up the phone, he will definitely call."
Hell yeah.
But in essence, these thoughts do not expand our freedom; on the contrary, they contract it. Because when the mind is caught up in the delusion that "everything must be under my control", intellectual bondage arises, not freedom.
Solution Suggestions
Stoac Practices: Separating Spheres of Control
One of the most fundamental teachings of totoism is the "dichotomy of control". That is, the division of life into two: what is in my hands and what is not in my hands.
Epictetus summarizes this distinction as follows: "What is in my hands are my thoughts, my choices, my reactions. What is out of my hands is nature, my fame, my fortune, the behavior of others."
The illusion of control arises precisely where these boundaries blur. We attempt to control what is out of our hands and are frustrated when we fail. Stoic practice offers the mind a compass at this point:
What is in my control: How I express my emotions, the decision I make, how I communicate with the other person.
What is not in my control: My partner's mood, the politics at work, whether it is raining or not.
When one internalizes this, one gains a kind of mental immunity. Because when external circumstances go wrong, instead of getting angry or breaking down, they can turn their attention to their own space: "How can I stand in this situation?"
In modern psychology, this is called "domain focusing". In other words, to clarify what we are capable of and to develop an accepting attitude in areas where we are not.
Freedom, after all, lies not in controlling everything, but in accepting what we cannot control and concentrating our power in our own sphere.
Mindfulness: Staying in the Moment, Making Peace with Uncertainty
One of the biggest pitfalls of the illusion of control is that it keeps our minds running towards the future. "What if this happens?", "If I don't do this, it will definitely turn out badly." It's as if the mind thinks that by calculating the future it can provide security.
But this effort often makes us even more vulnerable to uncertainty. Because no matter how much we plan, we cannot completely eliminate life's surprises.
This is where mindfulness comes in. Staying in the moment means noticing the arrows the mind is constantly shooting into the future and calling attention back to the present.
A simple example: Let's imagine someone waiting for a message from their partner. The phone is silent, the mind immediately starts working:
"Is he angry with me?"
"Is he doing something else?"
"Or does he not care about me anymore?"
All these scenarios are a product of the illusion of control. Mindfulness teaches to see the moment like this:
"Right now my phone is on silent. There is curiosity in me, there is restlessness. I notice these things."
If we can achieve this, we realize that we need to ask ourselves the above questions in a different way so that we are in control of ourselves;
"Have I done something to make him angry?"
"Do I know if he is doing something else right now?"
"Have I done something that he doesn't care about?"
The answer to these questions is usually no anyway, and if we look deeper, the fact that there is a correlation between not answering the phone and these questions does not mean that this is the reason. This helps us to see that we have an illusion of control.
Watching and letting go of the false scenarios of the future frees the mind. Instead of destroying uncertainty, it makes peace with it.
Research also shows that regular mindfulness practices reduce the anxiety caused by the need for control. This is because one begins to experience that not everything needs to be under control and that staying in the moment offers a kind of security.
In short, mindfulness reminds us that:
Freedom comes not from restraining the flow of life, but from being able to adapt to its uncertain rhythm.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Values-Based Living Instead of Control
ACT is one of the modern approaches to psychotherapy that basically says: "You can't control all of life, but you can act in accordance with your values." (9*)
In other words, it's not a matter of trying to manage events so that "everything goes smoothly", but of being able to turn the ship's compass towards your own values even in stormy weather.
According to ACT, falling into the illusion of control feeds anxiety even more. This is because one is constantly caught in the trap of:
"Everything has to be exactly as I planned."
"If this situation doesn't turn out exactly as I want it to, disaster."
This approach actually distracts us from our values. The solution offered by
ACT can be summarized in two steps:
Acceptance: Accepting the uncontrollable aspects of life.
For example, "Yes, it may rain, work may go wrong, my partner may not understand me sometimes. It's not in my power."
Determination: Choosing behaviors that are consistent with our values in the midst of what we cannot control.
"But I can still behave in a way that is consistent with my integrity, my love, my productivity."
This perspective breaks the illusion of control and at the same time gives one a profound freedom. Because it is no longer a matter of managing events, but of managing one's own attitude.
ACT's golden phrase is:
"Realize that suffering is inevitable, but that suffering is increased by our choices."
In other words, when we try to control, we cannot escape suffering, we only create new chains. But when we focus on our values, we can build a meaningful life despite the uncertainty of life.
Practical Exercise: Spend a Day Without a Plan
One of the strongest roots of the illusion of control is that we try to plan every moment of our lives.
Calendars, to-do lists, alarm after alarm... All give us a sense of security, but they also dull our flexibility.
That's why I can recommend this little exercise that I practice myself once in a while:
Spend a day completely without a plan.
When you wake up in the morning, don't write anything down in your diary for the day.
Rather than trying to determine the flow of the day, respond flexibly to situations as they arise.
When you are walking down the street and you feel like taking another street, do so.
At dinner, choose something you hadn't thought of before.
Leave your mind in a spontaneous moment without looking at the phone.
It can be unsettling at first. Because our brain can be alarmed that "I'm not in control, so something bad is going to happen to me". But in fact, control left in small spaces sends a very powerful message to the mind:
"Life flows even without control. And I can exist in that flow."
This exercise will not radically change your life in a day. But think of it as a small exercise. Just like exercising our muscles, it exercises the "uncertainty muscle."
Moments spent without planning make us realize that control can be related to freedom. Because sometimes the best moments are the ones we never planned.
Conclusion and Message to the Reader
We have now learned that what we think of as control, but which is illusionary, does not keep us safe, but rather shackles us.
In fact, true freedom lies in being able to distinguish between what is in our control and what is not, and in letting go of the obsession with control for what is not in our control.
The illusion of control is a chain around our neck, and what we need to do is to get rid of it.
What else do we have to lose but our chains...
Before I close, I would like to share with you this prayer-like phrase I heard in the series dark:
God, give me the peace to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Then let me pose the following question to you, my readers: "In which area of your life can giving up control actually make you more free?"
Another issue that comes with freedom is responsibility... In my next article I will try to explore how freedom goes hand in hand with responsibility.
📌 Bibliography
- Epictetus - Enchiridion (Stoicism)
- Spinoza - Ethica
- Erich Fromm - From Freedom Escape (1941)
- Ellen Langer - The Illusion of Control (1975)
- Karl Friston - Predictive Processing / Predictive Brain studies
- Beck, A. T. & Clark, D. A. - Anxiety and Information Processing (1997)
- Byung-Chul Han - Psychopolitics: Neoliberalism and New Techniques of Power
- Shoshana Zuboff - The Age of Surveillance Capitalism (2019)
- Steven C. Hayes - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (1999)
